Connected While Apart
Not Always Easy Now

Dear Mayfield,
For a  number of years, on the Melrose side of Nettelhorst School, the south side of the building, there has been a large mural with this sentiment “better together.”  I passed by it in the dark last night on my way to drop off something at Molly’s.  Nettelhorst is in my neighborhood.  I see it all the time, but last night, the mural kind of stopped me in my tracks and caught my attention vividly with “write about me” energy.  Under my arm was a 1000 piece puzzle I had found in a plastic tub of Christmas stuff.  Molly is the jigsaw puzzle person in our family.  Since she was a child, she has always had a puzzle going.  Because of recent close contact exposure with Covid-19, she is not only teaching from home but is also pretty much staying at home.  Last night seemed to be a good time to leave another puzzle at the outside door of her building. I did, and on my way home I began thinking about better together in the present tense when multiple “better together” events and habits have been cancelled and when the wisdom of staying home is looming over upcoming holiday celebrations.  What might we recall regarding “better together” when physical distancing is so critical?  Here’s what I’m thinking about on this topic. It’s an open-ended list.  What if you were like the hands on the mural above, participating by adding your experience of what it means to be better together at heart when life is largely lived apart.  Here is the beginning of a list:

• A puzzle works best when all the pieces are present and accounted for and can be assembled in a complete picture.
• In shared-decision making, those who study this process remind us, often better decisions emerge from a coming together of different and sometimes contrary opinions.
• I remember when Amanda and Carmelo were first dating, then mostly long distance from Northern Illinois to Nicaragua, asking her if they were both better people in the world because they were together.
• I bet we all have favorite foods that are better together if they are paired with other specific dishes.
• Habitat study teaches us the better together of diverse plant life and animals and challenges us with questions about how diverse our human habitat is.
• For those of us who love the contrast of distinct seasons, the year feels better with all of them together one after another.
• There is so much that is better in an intergenerational model for church and for other gatherings with varied ages in the mix.
• We are better together whenever others hold us in prayer during a difficult time and when we hold them.
• We are frequently better together in a challenging situation when someone shows up with a skill or idea that we need.
• We have a phrase in our family.  “Help me get out of the tree and down the ladder.”  It applies to a moment when one of us is all worked up.  We know the power then of better together as someone else takes the time to accompany us through whatever it is.
• As inefficient as it can be trying to accomplish a task communally, the better together of someone else or several others in the process can result in a broadened perspective or a new learning for us.
• We are better together in spirit if not in person with our acceptance of valuing one another’s wellbeing and health while maintaining distance.
• Whatever reality resembles being afraid in the dark, we are usually better together in those moments.

That is a baker’s dozen of ideas to get us started.  When we are physically apart and not together, re-membering or re-connected to ways when we are better together can boost our spirits, bring a smile, and help us find hope.  What other ideas would you add to the list?  Or perhaps you would like to tear up this list and craft your own from scratch.  Better together are not the easiest two words to hear when we are remaking plans again, giving up something we love to try to keep one another safe, or giving up something we love to try to understand the hard edges of what is happening in our culture, or giving up something we love to turn the corner on climate crisis we can’t ignore any more.  It is possible to trust better together, even in a time when we have to be cautious about how we live that out.  Please stay safe and well.
Peace, Martha

Prayer Addition
You are encouraged to add Becky’s childhood friend Cathy to your prayers.  Cardiac issues required she be hospitalized overnight, most likely to have a pacemaker inserted.